super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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