Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
