i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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