ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
