did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
