Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
