Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
