i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
