note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
