Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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