Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
