She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
