have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
