so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
