I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
