dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
