apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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