no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
