hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
MIDGETS
????
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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