Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
