he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
