I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
