i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
