Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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