my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
