K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
