You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
