im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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