He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
