Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
