hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
