Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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