she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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