no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
