Nicole vs. Life
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
