whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Everything about him screamed your future.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
