Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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