But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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