i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
