are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
