Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
