Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
