I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
