Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
