Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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