What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
A+ Viking dick
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
