Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
