we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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