You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
