i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
