I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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