Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
