Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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